As I had stated I sort of knew that I had cancer, but there is a difference to feeling it, to be told it from a Doctor (even though not 100% confirmed). My Pragmatic part of me started working again, working out that Scans are needed to confirm nothing anywhere else, and biopsy to confirm if Cancer?, but other parts of me then start thinking about if things have started to spread elsewhere, as I knew my Father eventually was lost to Liver Cancer.
So I was feeling a little more concerned that it could be more, but was working out how things can be sorted if the news was the worst. Strange that when facing possible mortality, I was calm, as I knew I would have time to get things sorted, wife could move in with Daughter, and financially although few areas to sort, but more than happy that wife would be well looked after, and my wider family are strong, and would look out for them also. My only thing that could bring me to tears, and it is now as I write this, is the thought of no longer being here for my Granddaughter (my Kryptonite).
12th June 2020 Day of CT and MRI scan at Stracathro hospital. I have taken my wife to get CT and MRI scan before, but obviously was never allowed to be in the room, so although I had seen pictures, I had refrained from looking too much into it. So usual Covid Qs and Temp testing again. As I ensured I had wore lose type clothing, I did not have to change into hospital gowns (just joggers and plain T-shirt). They took me into room for MRI, and explained process. Remember Wife was given options of Albums to listen too, I was only given choice of Genre of music. I choose to listen to Classical, as I always felt that was relaxing ( as I used to spend lot of time driving) so they gave me headphones and laid me down, and gave me a handheld device to contact them if I was struggling.
I will say at this point, I do not class myself as claustrophobic, ( but I remember as a kid struggling if stuck in a rugby scrum, or at the bottom of a kids piley on). So they take me in, my arms were crossed over my stomach, and I could feel either side of the unit with my elbows, I opened my eyes and could see top of unit was only about 3 inches away, at this point I closed my eyes and for about 10 mins I worked VERY hard to keep myself calm, as the pounding drumming noise got louder. Eventually music started playing although not loud, unfortunately the classical music I asked for, was more like church organ music, so with the combination, it was like I had awoken at my own funeral 😂😂 not funny at the time. I knew my whole body was taken in machine at times, but managed to keep calm. I was in the MRI for about 50mins maybe more, and I knew then if I can do that, everything else was going to be a walk in the park....So take advice listen to Pop or Rock, not Funeral music.
CT scan, again I had seen pics, so I knew this was going to be a breeze compared to MRI, as machine is not fully enclosed. They did give me a few injections to help see parts of my head and neck. The liquid CONTRAST, that was a strange sensation, it was like warm metal going round your body then eventually down to business end, felt briefly like I had wet myself, the feels warm at the other end, very strange ( warning I did have Diarrhoea a few days later which I thought was related to that liquid). they did the scan, which only lasted about 20 mins, and was pretty easy, especially after MRI.
16th June 2020. Video call had been arranged to discuss biopsy and hopefully the scan results. My daughter had decided she was going to be in house with me and her mum, when I received video call, possibly because they were concerned I would hide or sugar coat what is said. So video call set up was great, as saved so much time and money for going to hospital etc. It was same Dr Jai Maickavasagam on the video, he started off by saying it’s Bad News, my wife and daughter let out a screech and held hands in their face, while I took a breath, he said it is cancer in my tonsil areas and had spread to Lymphnode, so it was just the confirmation that he told me at the appointment, but when he said Bad news made it sound there was other things they had found, so quickly wife and daughter had a sigh of relief. He confirmed I would start to receive further video calls and appointments to attend. He briefly went through the scans and thankfully was able to confirm that no cancer anywhere else. That was always my biggest concern, so at least confirmed I have CUNCER, but also huge relief that high % of recovery.
23rd June 2020 Meeting planned at Hospital with Specialist DR Richard Casasola. Oncologist and 2 nurses Gemma and Elaine, to discuss bit more detail around Cuncer and the treatment. My Daughter came along to appointment also, as she wanted to be able to support, as it might have been too much for her Mum. They took usual basics height weight. DR Casasola asked me what I knew and how as feeling, he then proceeded to give me his initial thoughts. 6 weekly sessions of chemotherapy and 6weeks of daily sessions of Radiotherapy, they then went to explain that Radiotherapy can cause wider issues due to area of treatment, so went on to confirm I might have to get back teeth removed and possibly a PEG food,tube fitted, as throat could get too sore to swallow.
So full Diagnosis Metastatic Squamous Cell Carcinoma in neck, primary source Tonsil.
Pics above just as I got teeth out, also getting Son to give me a much closer cut.
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